Monthly Archives: November 2016

Should Know By Bridesmaids

Being offered a place on a friend or sibling’s bridal party is such a great honour and at the outset, seems like a lot of fun. But while helping to plan a wedding can be an adventure, every adventure has bumps along the way – here are some tips to help you avoid being one of them.

DO – Plan a fabulous bachelorette party
Bridesmaids are expected to help the maid of honor in planning and paying for the bachelorette party.

This can be held anywhere from three to six weeks out, right up until the weekend before the big day.

Make sure you plan something that is fun and will suit the personality of the bride.

DON’T – Accept the role unless you are completely invested
Being a bridesmaid can mean several months of helping your friends or sibling through what can be a very stressful time.

There might be tears, there will be many triumphs, but when you say yes, you are agreeing to be there through all of it.

You might be expected to help out with dress shopping, fittings, invitation making or posting and other projects depending on how much DIY the bride is planning to do.

DO – Expect to fork out some cash
Bring a bridesmaid often doesn’t come cheap.

On top of traditionally pooling funds with the other bridesmaids to fund the bachelorette party, you might also have to cover the cost of your dress, and/or hair and make up and maybe even a night or two of accommodation to be on hand to help the bride before her big day.

If you live interstate or overseas, you will have to add flights into the mix as well.

DON’T – Argue about dresses
The bride might have a very clear picture in her mind of what she would like you to wear and although it might not be something you would usually pick for yourself, you need to grin and bear it – especially if she is footing the bill.

Almost the only time you can object to a dress is if you are being expected to pay and simply cannot afford to buy the dress if the bride has chosen something ultra-expensive. In this case, simply politely ask if she would consider a less costly option.

Remember that at the end of the day, the wedding is supposed to be about the bride and what she wants – not your personal style preferences.
DO – Understand your duties
Different brides have different expectations.

It pays to understand early on what the bride would like you to help with and make a note of the dates you’ll need to be available.

It’s also a good idea to find out if the bride will want you to take an active role in assisting with planning, or simply to help out when she gets too busy to do things herself.

DON’T – Dramatically change your look
Thinking about dying your hair or getting a tattoo in a prominent place on your body?

Wait until after the wedding is over.

Even if the bride okays your new look, there is a chance she might just be agreeing with you so she’s not holding you back.

It wouldn’t hurt to wait another few months.

DO – Provide emotional support
Because there is so much excitement and anticipation surrounding a wedding, it can become an emotional roller coaster ride for all involved – especially the bride.

She might have moments of stress, great elation and possibly even cold feet – all of it rolled into a few short months.

It is important for her to know that she has you by her side to be a shoulder to lean on and someone she can vent to in order to alleviate the burden.

DON’T – Go overboard with advice
If she asks you along, go with the bride to help her pick out the perfect dress, flowers and decorations for the ceremony and reception, but don’t offer unsolicited advice, especially if it contradicts the style or items that the bride has chosen.

Not only will this be upsetting for her, but it has the potential to cause tension between you in the lead up to the wedding.

Find the right balance and you will all have a memorable time leading up to a day you will be proud to have been a part of.

All About Wishing Well Wording That Won’t Offend

Whether you’re asking for a loan, a pay raise or for guests to contribute to a wishing well at your wedding, requests for money can be difficult, if not downright embarrassing.

That’s why asking guests for cash presents rather than traditional wrapped gifts can be awkward.

However with many couples already living together before marriage and so many who, individually, have their homes already set up, it’s a request that’s becoming more and more common.

Of course, that’s not the only reason couple’s request cash gifts. Some genuinely need the money, others wish to put it towards, say, a honeymoon or a house deposit, perhaps even towards renovations or a bigger present such as a painting, something that constitutes a single, really big wedding present that they really want and will always remember.

And then there are the couples who just prefer cash.

Regardless of the reasons, it can still be uncomfortable asking your guests for presents of money and, as such, couples have come up with a more diplomatic means of doing so, wishing well poems.

Wishing well poems are a gentle way for couples to ask for cash gifts in the hopes of not offending guests. As you’ll see from the examples below, wishing well wording varies in length and diplomacy. Some are gentle and funny, others make their message immediately clear.

Wishing well wording (we hope) won’t offend!
The term ‘wishing well poem’ comes from the fact that many couples provide a wishing well (though now it can be in the form of suitcases, birdcages, even just pretty boxes) into which guests can place their money-filled envelopes before making a wish, usually for the couple. However, they’re also known as Money Trees and Treasure Chests, among other things and, of course, many cultures feature such celebrated wedding traditions as pinning money to the bride’s dress or filling bride’s purse with money during the reception.

The aim of such traditions, which started long before couple’s lived together before marrying, was always to ensure the bride and groom walked way at the end of their big day with a small nest egg to start their married life. Guests who put in what they could afford, if they could afford anything at all.

So, just keep in mind that though you may prefer cash, your guests may not. Perhaps they don’t have the money to give or maybe they may prefer to give you something particularly special that you will treasure as something you received on your wedding day. Either way, if you are going down the wishing well route, be sure to make it clear that cash presents are not mandatory and that you are merely making a request, not demanding guests hand over cold hard cash.

You can either add the poems onto your invitation or, as so many couples do, simply print it out on a notelette or small slip of paper and leave it for guests to decided what they wish to do, but also what they can afford.

Here are some of our favourite wishing well poems:

(1)
“Our two families have come together as one.
We really hope you can join in the fun.
A wishing well we thought would be great,
but only if you wish to participate.
A gift of money is placed in the well,
then make a special wish, but do not tell!
Please do not be offended by our request,
as our day is complete having you as a guest.”

(2)
If you were thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way.
A gift of cash towards our house, would really make our day.
However, if you prefer a gift, feel free to surprise us in your own special way.

(3)
If finding a gift is hard to do,
Perhaps our wishing well is for you.
A gift of money is placed in the well.
Then make a wish… but do not tell.
If, however, a gift you’d prefer to find.
Be assured we will not mind.

(4)

So what do you get
For the Bride and Groom,
Whose house needs things
In every room?

When shopping for a gift,
You needn’t be rash,
As there’s always the option,
To just give cash!

We hope you don’t find,
Our request to be funny
The decision is yours:
To buy a present or give money.

Now you have the choice,
Please do not fuss.
The most important thing of all,
Is that you’re there to celebrate with us!

(5 – from reader Kalysha )

Soon we are to be Mr & Mrs
We don’t need a wedding list of dishes.
Our life together has already begun
We have almost everything under the sun:
Two kettles, two toasters, two microwaves
Though we also have dreams for which to save.
Our dream is to honeymoon in a foreign land
And walk along the beach hand in hand.
If you would like to give us a gift
A contribution towards this would give us a lift.
We like to think of it as our ‘Wishing Well’
Which will be filled with your love, we can tell!
But the most important thing to say
Is that you are there to celebrate our day!
(6 – from reader Adrianna Izabella)
Soon you will hear our wedding bell,
As friends and family wish us well.
Our household thoughts are not brand new,
We have twice the things we need for two.
Since we have our share of dishes and bedding,
We’re having instead a wishing well wedding.
But more important, we ask of you,
Your prayers of love and blessings, too!
If poetry is not your style, you can just word the requests politely, something along the lines of:

The most important thing is to have you with us on our special day. No gifts are needed or expected, however we have been asked what we need or would like and,
if you do wish to give us something, a little cash to spend on our honeymoon would be very much appreciated.

Information About Social media wedding etiquette

Once upon a time, newly engaged couples would announce their big engagement news in the local newspaper. These days, however, most modern brides turn to social media to spread the word. But, before you take to Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat to share your perfectly posed ring selfie, here are a few new etiquette rules you may want to keep in mind.

Tell your nearest and dearest first
Before you announce your engagement to the world on social media tell the people who are closest to you first. For example, your parents, siblings and best friends would probably appreciate being told in person or over the phone, rather than finding out via Facebook and Instagram along with everybody else you know. And, don’t forget your beloved grandparents, who may have no involvement with social media, would definitely appreciate a call or visit to tell them your good news. Once your close family and friends have been informed, then you’ve got the green light to whip out that diamond emoji and #isaidyes hashtag.

Take a moment to let it sink in before you announce the news
You and your partner have just shared an incredibly special moment and it can be nice to let yourselves thoroughly enjoy it before you share it with the world. Take a break from your phones and computer screens to allow yourselves some quality time to enjoy the experience. While it can be tempting to get online straight away and start sharing loved-up selfies, don’t let that prevent you from taking in your special moment, one you’ll, no doubt, want to remember forever.

Share your wedding hashtag
If you plan on having a wedding hashtag it’s best to come up with it before any of your pre-wedding events. This way you can use the hashtag for every occasion such as the engagement, kitchen tea, bridal shower, buck’s and hen’s, and of course the big day. Carefully consider your wedding hashtag and announce it on social media so that your social media savvy guests are aware. If you have also created a Snapchat geofilter then let your guests know. Not only will you have a curated catalogue of images from Day 1 of your wedding preparations, but your guests will enjoy getting involved too.

Check your inbox and notifications
Once you do post the news on social media be prepared for an influx of well wishes and congratulatory responses, all of which you should address. If it’s too difficult to address each response and message personally, then a blanket response thanking everyone for their kind words and wishes may suffice. That said, each of them has cared enough to congratulate you, so it’s always nice to respond, even if it takes you a few days.

Be cautious of your wording
While you may want to tell your family and friends about when and where you’re having your engagement party, bridal shower, Hen’s/Buck’s and wedding, be careful of the way you word the announcement. The last thing you want is your announcement to seem as an open invitation. It can be quite awkward when people start asking you what the dress code is when you weren’t planning on inviting them.

Keep some details private
While you will no doubt want to indulge in the obligatory ‘ring selfie,’ you may want to think twice before sharing particular details about your ring with your social media following. Things like the cost and the number of carats might be OK to share in private with a close friend or family member, but social media is probably not the best avenue to communicate such things.

Apart from possibly being interpreted as a bit of ‘bragging’ by your friends and followers, your fiance’ may not be happy with you sharing such personal information and, there could be safety issues too.

This privacy policy goes for any other wedding planning moments and realizations, such as the cost of your wedding or honeymoon.

You just don’t know who might see your very public post on Instagram about your shiny, new $20,000 engagement bling. So keep safety in mind.
Don’t use social media to vent
While your sister-in-law may be driving you crazy and your bridesmaids may be acting more like divas rather than perfectly supportive ladies-in-waiting, social media is not the place to vent your woes. Often venting on social media can have induce inflammatory responses and start all sorts of things that you just don’t need to be a part of, especially when you’re probably already stressed with your wedding planning.

Try to keep such matters and grievances private and offline.

taking a ring selfie to announce your engagement on social media
Image: Instagram

Don’t overshare
It may be tempting to post every moment of your wedding planning process in detail but, ultimately, how many photos of EVERY. SINGLE. CAKE. FLAVOUR. YOU. TASTED. will your fans be able to handle, even if they are your nearest and dearest.

It’s unlikely they’ll also be interested in a daily countdown photo either, so be judicious in what you post and how often.

It’s fine to share, but try not to overshare. Plus, an element of surprise for your guests can be nice!

Some social media etiquette rules for the guests
Don’t jump the gun. You know your sibling, best friend or work colleague is about to announce their engagement. You are not the town crier. Let the happy couple be the first to broadcast the news. Putting their information on social media before they announce it is a great way to steal somebody’s thunder.
Don’t get in the way of the official wedding photographer and videographer on the day. While you may be trying to get the perfect photo to post on Instagram or you’re filming the ceremony for your Snapchat story, it’s best to make sure you don’t get in the way of the paid professional’s as you could hinder what content they capture.
Don’t post photos before the bride has even reached the altar. While you may be excited to start sharing your photos in real time, remember that the couple may want to release images of their wedding first. It’s best to ask them ahead of the wedding so they can tell you if they would be happy with you posting images during the ceremony.
Use a private message for a private matter. If you have a query, complaint or question for the bride and/or groom, don’t ask or tell them on social media. Ask them privately.